Cruel World
by Animo32124
Summary: The world was cruel. Karin Kurosaki knew that better than anyone else. At the age of fourteen, working three jobs, what's left of her family is falling apart. Ichigo is a captain and so his Isshin, they never come home. It doesn't help that a certain white haired captain of the Tenth Division is on her mind.


The world was cruel.

Karin Kurosaki knew that more than anyone in the world.

Karin glanced down at the wilted flowers next to a small puddle of blood that only she could see. Her fingers tightened around the fresh daisies she had brought.

She could see the spirits, she could touch them and she could speak to them…but they always end up disappearing, leaving behind faint traces of blood only her eyes could see. She could never help them…and she hated her powerlessness.

"So…you showed up." A whispery voice said softly behind her. Karin turned around and saw another spirit.

"Yeah…"

"She's gone."

"I know…" Karin whispered before the old spirit faded into nothing again. "I know."

-AT THE KUROSAKI HOUSE/CLINIC-

"Karin-chan, welcome home." A cheery voice greeted her as she walked through the door. Karin gave her twin a tired smile.

"Hey, Yuzu." She said before heading upstairs.

"Karin-chan…" Yuzu stared sadly at her sister's retreating back. Yuzu always knew her sister better than herself and right know, she knew that Karin needed some time alone.

Karin felt her sister's worried stare but brushed it off. Karin opened the door to her brother's room…or rather…her room. He was so busy with his duties as the 5th squad's captain that he hardly ever came home anymore. Karin looked around the room and her eyes landed on a worn soccer ball.

Her usually sharp stare softened.

She hardly ever played soccer anymore. No time for her own interests with Ichigo gone and no one to look after the family, or what's left of her family. Her idiot of a father was busy with his new occupations; also as a captain for Soul Society and it was only her and Yuzu. Sure, her father sent home checks every month but sometimes it wasn't enough. Karin found herself working three jobs for Yuzu, who only worked one because of her studies. Once they had almost been evicted, not a story she'd like to revisit.

But there was a reason why she _did_ play soccer when she could. And it was because of a certain white-haired captain of the Tenth Division in Soul Society. Not that she would admit it…but her awe-crush still remained. Karin smiled sadly. Why did she bother in hoping he would come back? It's not like he would remember a girl who annoyed him into helping her win a soccer match. The last time he'd visited was seven months ago…not that she kept count.

Karin scoffed and jumped onto her bed. Her eyes found the ceiling and unwillingly, her eyes blurred. Sometimes the silence was unbearable and she found herself constantly wishing for Ichigo to come home.

_Come home, Ichi-nii_. She prayed, using her old nickname for him. _Come home, you stupid carrot haired idiot_. Karin buried her face into her pillow and drifted off to sleep.

-SOMEWHERE AT SOUL SOCIETY-

Ichigo sneezed, startling his second-in-command.

"Umm…Kurosaki-taichou, are you okay?" Hinamori asked timidly. Ichigo rubbed his nose.

"I'm fine. Someone's probably talking about me." He said. Hinamori gave him a confused look.

"Umm…?" She questioned.

"It's a saying most people use." He explained. "I keep forgetting that I'm not in the Living World anymore." At the mention of his old home, his eyes saddened.

"Do you miss them?" Hinamori asked.

"Everyday." He glanced at the photo on his desk. One of the many family photos with his sisters and his mom and dad. Hinamori gave him a knowing look, sometimes by mistake if she was extremely tired, she would call him Aizen-taichou instead.

"Maybe you could get permission from the Soutaichou to go visit them." Hinamori suggested. Ichigo looked up.

"Seriously?!" He asked, standing up. Hinamori nodded before turning back to her paperwork. Ichigo slammed down his pen and proceeded to storm out of his office before Hinamori said:

"You'll have to ask at the next captains meeting."

"ARGH!"

-BACK TO KARIN'CHAN-

Karin groaned as the sun glared at her closed eyelids. She praised Kami it was a weekday. It meant an entire day of relaxing. Just as she snuggled into her pillows again, she heard Yuzu scream. Alarmed, she jumped off her bed and raced downstairs.

"Yuzu, I heard a-" Worry immediately turned to anger and neutralism but Yuzu…Yuzu was ecstatic.

"Daddy! Welcome home!" Yuzu squealed as Isshin walked through the door. Then a certain carrot top walked in too. Yuzu gasped. "Ichigo!" Yuzu was smiling so big, Karin thought her cheeks would fall off. After all the rejoicing between the fairer twin and the two idiots, Karin just went upstairs. No laughing for her. She hasn't the time. Karin sighed. Now she was awake and she had time to _think_. Karin growled as her phone rang, she grabbed it and answered.

"Hello?"

"_Karin-chan! It's Hanna! Midoriko-chan had an accident; we need you on her shift!" _Her boss's frantic voice yelled. Karin groaned inwardly.

"Can't Yuki or Mimi take the hour?" Karin asked. She could practically _feel_ Hanna bursting into tears. Her boss was never a strong person.

"_Yuki went to visit her sick gramma and Miki is with her parents in France_!" Hanna wailed.

"What about Azura?" Karin asked.

"_She didn't pick up her cell when I called!"_ Hanna sniffed. Karin sighed. As much as she loved her job at the café, it was so much work…but this shift could earn her more money for college.

"…Fine." Karin said, hanging up the phone. She showered and changed quickly before grabbing her keys and heading out of the house. She heard laughing and yells from downstairs. She forced her poker-face on. Yes, she was angry. Yes, she was pissed. But she had every right to do so. Yuzu had cried for a week straight when she found out both her father and brother was leaving to do some job that made them leave for months, maybe even years at a time. Karin took a deep breath and stepped through the kitchen. Yuzu looked up as she walked in, her smile still on her face.

"Karin-chan!" Yuzu's smile faltered as she saw her sister in her work clothes. "Karin-chan…you're going to work today?" Karin nodded.

"I need the money for college." She said briskly. Before grabbing an apple to eat before she left. She paused for a moment and without looking at her father and brother. "…welcome back." She said before leaving. Yuzu stared after her with a sad look and sighed.

-FROM ICHIGO AND ISSHIN'S P.O.V. SORTA-

Ichigo frowned as Karin walked into the kitchen. She was pale…very, very pale and thin. Her eyes lost its sparkle and she had dark bags underneath them. When Yuzu mentioned her having a job, Ichigo was shocked, to say the least. She was fourteen! Karin only mumbled a feeble 'welcome back' and barely even looked at them. What worried him the most was when Yuzu had said:

"Well…at least she ate something today." Both Ichigo and Isshin had turned to her with questioning looks. Yuzu looked pained.

"Yuzu…"Isshin said cautiously. "What happened to Karin?" Yuzu closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when she opened them again, her eyes glistened.

"She…she isn't eating. She comes home late and she goes straight to bed." Yuzu mumbled. "She's working herself to death, working at three jobs just so I only need to work at one to catch up with my studies. And that's not even the worst part." Yuzu's voice cracked. "She…she doesn't even play soccer anymore." Ichigo and Isshin passed Yuzu a guilty look.

"How long has this been going on?" Ichigo asked. Yuzu immediately drew a breath and stood up, back turned to her father and brother. When she turned around, she was crying but had an angry look in her eyes.

"Nine months!" Yuzu screamed. Ichigo flinched, so did Isshin. They were shell-shocked; Yuzu hardly ever raised her voice. "Nine months! Karin-chan has been working to death! This is the first time I've seen her eat in two weeks! She came down the stairs six months ago with all her soccer things and toys and threw them into the closet! And four months ago, Karin-chan came home, her ankle twisted and her soccer ball in her hand. She told me it was because she hasn't played soccer in a while but I heard from Hanna that she sprained her ankle during a midnight shift at the café. And two weeks ago, I saw Karin-chan _crying. _And do you want to know what she said?!" Yuzu asked menacingly. They stayed silent during Yuzu's outburst. "She said-Karin-chan said that this house no longer feels like home!" Then Yuzu abruptly burst into tears.

When Isshin tried to pull her into a hug, she pounded his chest with her fists.

"Why?! Why would you make Karin-chan cry?!" She wailed. "Karin-chan is supposed to be strong; Karin-chan is supposed to be _happy_!" The something seemed to snap inside Yuzu…Karin _was_ happy…but only for one point in the nine months her dad and brother was gone. And it was seven months ago, a month before she gave up soccer. Yuzu flashed back to one night seven months ago.

_"Karin-chan! It's midnight, where were you?" Yuzu cried out worriedly. Karin gave her a toothy smile, even though her face was covered with dirt. Yuzu was surprised, she hadn't seen that smile in a while._

_ "Hey, Yuzu. I'm going upstairs to shower. Is there any curry left?" Karin asked, obviously happy. Her gray eyes were shining and underneath her arm, she held a soccer ball. It was a rare occurrence. Yuzu felt her face smile besides the shock of her sister being so happy._

_ "Yeah…there's still curry left. I'll go heat it up for you!" Yuzu had exclaimed happily. Karin laughed and ran upstairs, she'd even tripped and only laughed it off._

Yuzu snapped out of her haze and then, connected two and two.

"Hitsugaya-kun." She whispered.

"Huh?" Ichigo and Isshin said at the same time. Did she just say Captain Hitsugaya's name?

"Hitsugaya!" Yuzu exclaimed.

"Uh-who?" Isshin said, pretending to be oblivious. Yuzu pounced into Ichigo.

"Ichigo! You have to go find Hitsugaya Toushiro! He's your friend right?!" Yuzu asked, practically shaking Ichigo dizzy.

"Y-Y-Y-u-u-z-u-u-" Ichigo stuttered before Yuzu released her grip on him. "Why do I need to find that midget for, anyway?"

"Because!" Yuzu said, hands on her hips. "That's the only way Karin-chan will become happy again!" Yuzu explained. Ichigo and Isshin gaped at her…still drawing a blank. Yuzu sighed and sat down to explain everything. "When you and daddy left, Karin-chan became really serious. Up to the point she only played soccer once a month. But on day, one month before she gave up on soccer, she came home really happy. Her eyes were shining and her smile was really big. And she had her old soccer ball under her arm, not the new one Ichigo bought for her during middle school. The really old one she had when she first met Hitsugaya-kun. She told me he had saved her ball from crashing into the streets and that he had saved her from an utter defeat in soccer by some middle schoolers. I'm pretty sure that Hitsugaya-kun was the one who made her so happy." Yuzu finished. Ichigo gaped while Isshin chuckled. Who knew his old third seat has guts to hit on his raven haired daughter?

"W-wait, how can you even be sure it was Toushiro?" Ichigo stuttered. Yuzu rolled her eyes, something she only does when she's really agitated or really impatient.

"Because my psychic Kurosaki third eye is never wrong, Ichigo!" She said, scowling but then smiled. "Now go find Hitsugaya-kun, **_Ichigo_**." She said, putting emphasis in every syllable of his name.

"Aye~" Ichigo manage under the scornful look of Yuzu Kurosaki, angel on the outside but a demon at heart.

-AFTER KARIN AT WORK-

Karin sighed as Hanna thanked her repeatedly for her last minute help. Karin only waved it off and took off on a familiar road. Karin smiled to herself when she saw the old soccer field. She glanced up at the sky and saw the sun setting. _Well, I guess it's time for an old tradition to come up again_. She thought, making her way to the railing where she and Toushiro watched the sunset so many months ago. She was apparently cut short when she saw a figure, already leaning by the railing. _Is that-no…it's can't be._ She thought, shocked. But as she got closer, she was proven wrong. _Toushiro_.

"To-" She said. Then she was suddenly tearing down the empty road, like she had done when she was running half way across the town for him two years ago. "Toushiro! Toushiro!" She yelled. Then she stopped. And blinked.

It wasn't him. It was just a shadow, a trick of the light. Karin felt the tears come to her eyes. _I'm so weak. Why can't I stop crying?_ Karin said. She was then reminded of the spots of blood only she could see and a certain pair of turquoise eyes staring at her, taunting her. As much as she tried, the tears wouldn't stop. So she just huddled against the railing, her tears running down her face as the sun set, casting evening shadows across her face, making her seem older and wiser beyond her years.

-AT HOME-

Karin hid her face as soon as she stepped into the house.

"Karin-chan, welcome-" Yuzu stopped immediately, sensing something was wrong. Karin glanced up and when she saw her twin's slightly pink eyes, her own eyes narrowed. She sped across the room and grabbed her twin's face, inspecting closely.

"You've cried." Karin observed. Karin dropped her work bag and cracked her knuckles. "Who was it?" Karin said, looking around for a victim. Yuzu, seeing her sister's protectiveness, broke down again. Karin looked at her, shocked. "Yu, what's wrong?" Yuzu only cried harder.

"Y-you always worry about me. Y-you n-never stop to worry a-about y-yourself!" Yuzu cried, clinging onto Karin. Karin only smiled and patted her sister's head.

"Because I don't have time to worry about myself. Your protection comes first and foremost." Karin murmured. "Now let go. I'm all sweaty from work." Karin detached herself from her sister and ran upstairs before her sister can see her tears.

Karin grabbed her pajamas and decided a good long shower should clear things up. Karin watched as the steam curled into the air. She stripped and welcomed the warm water, relaxing her stiff bones. Karin felt the months of pain and work melt away, leaving her fresh and clean. Karin sighed in relief and tiredness. It felt right, so she sighed again…and again…and again…and the sighs quickly turned to sobs and the sobs slowly turned to silent screams of frustration and powerlessness. Thank goodness the running water masked her muffled cries. When Karin stopped crying, she could feel her sister's worry for her staying in the shower that long. Karin quickly got dressed and washed her face before leaving the shower and locking herself into her room.

Once inside the safety of her room, she opened the windows, as to not feel trapped. She looked up at the moon and her heart felt a pang. It's the same color of his hair. She thought wistfully. Then she immediately scolded herself, she sounded like some love sick school girl…but still…she was so happy every time she saw him. Her heart always pounded fast inside her and she always wondered if he could hear it. She heard the door open downstairs and a soft squeal from Yuzu. Karin scoffed; it must be Ichigo or her idiot of a dad coming home. Karin rubbed her eyes and winced, they were still sore from her crying. She must look horrible, she thought.

Then there was footsteps on the staircase and the heavenly smell of curry greeted her, but she was glued to the window, where the moon and stars smiled down at her; glittering and glowing in their own special way. Then there was a knock on her door. Karin sighed.

"Come in, Yuzu. My door's always unlocked." Karin said, still by the window. The door opened softly.

"You've been crying." A quiet, cool voice said. Karin froze. "At least that's what I heard. I can't tell if I can't see your face, Karin." Slowly, Karin turned around. And when she did, her heart leapt to her throat. Her gray eyes met turquoise ones.

"Toushiro…" Her voice cracked. He raised a snowy eyebrow. Karin immediately caught herself and cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?" She asked coldly, voice stiff and uncaring.

"Your family called. I figured if three Kurosakis called and not four, it must be serious." He said lightly. Karin only glared. Toushiro sighed and set the tray of food on her desk. "Look, I apologize. For me and for the entire Soul Society. I apologize for making your life so difficult and taking away to important family members." Karin only turned her back to him.

"I have nothing to say to anyone who is related to Shinigami or the Soul Society." Karin murmured. "Leave us alone. Yuzu and I are _fine_ with things the way they are, Out of sight, out of mind." Karin said. Toushiro's eyes narrowed.

"You're working yourself to death." He said coldly.

"I can handle it."

"You haven't been eating."

"I don't have an appetite."

"You're suffering."

"I'm not."

"You're losing health."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I'm…" He paused for a moment.

"You're what?" Karin snarled, fed up with his game.

"I'm someone who cares about you." He finally said.

"I don't need any of your pity. We're fine. We don't have any problems." Then Toushiro lost it.

"You call starving yourself, working to death and neglecting your health, _fine?_!" Toushiro snapped.

"Well, we wouldn't be in this situation if you stupid Society hasn't taken away half the things I cared about!" Karin snapped back.

"You think we wanted to wage war to lose our captains?!"

"Then do you think I have to choice to stop working to support Yuzu and me?!"

"You could stop trying to balance _three jobs _at the age of fourteen!"

"Well, not everyone has the liberty of just dying and ending up in Soul Society do we now?!"

"Do you think we _choose _to die?"

"Obviously not, if we did then I wouldn't be talking right now would I?!" Karin screamed. Toushiro looked taken back for a second.

"Karin, you-" Karin's face crumpled as she slid to the ground, her hands covering her face.

"Why can't we just go back to the way it used to be?" Karin whispered. Toushiro froze as he watched her cry. Toushiro quietly made his way toward her and pulled her into a hug, surprising her.

"Everything happens for a reason, Karin. No matter how sad or crazy the situation is." Toushiro murmured as Karin's whole body shook with silent sobs. When she finally stopped, Toushiro only held her tighter.

"Then…this situation is happening for a reason?" She sighed quietly. Toushiro only hummed in response.

"I'm sorry for saying those things earlier." Karin apologized.

"Me too." They say in each other's embrace in silence just a moment for. "Will you stop working yourself to death if I visit every once a while?" Karin looked up in shock but then the old mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.

"Only if you come every month." Karin said. Toushiro looked down at her and let out a small smile. She held p her pinky. "Pinky promise?" He brought up his pinky and hooked it to hers.

"Pinky promise."

Oblivious to the both of them, three curious people knelt by the door. Ears pressed to glasses which were pressed to the wooden door. They all let out a small smile. Maybe, maybe things will finally go right.

**A/N I know, I know. I've had writer's block for so long and this thing kept repeating in my mind. Sorry! And I know, a lot of OOC and crying and whatnot. I have no idea what's going on with my brain.**


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